i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
