He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
