Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
