FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm passing your future prison.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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