Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
did i walk over a car last night?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
