So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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