Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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