I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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