White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All the doctor said was why
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
