I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
