please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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