what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
