I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
