is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
