I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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