Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
