OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
