its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize