This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
