Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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