i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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