I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
