that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
