i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
