What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
