You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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