she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
