I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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