i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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