foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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