return my video game
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
