I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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