I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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