There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
