So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She even gives head with a lisp.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
