I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
