i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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