So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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