My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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