I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize