I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
