i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
