Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize