so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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