my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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