there's paper in my vomit.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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