ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
