I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
