I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
