well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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