What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
