who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
