I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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