It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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