Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
