i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
