4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
