party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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